by Al Van Dyk | May 6, 2019 | Light and Fluffy
Joe’s have it rough. If having their good names besmirched by a Biden or Manchin, or having a Crab Shack named after them, isn’t bad enough, they are saddled with the thankless task of exemplifying mediocrity; of holding down the middle.
Order Up
I wake up earlier than your average Joe. This morning was no different. I couldn’t sleep. I was restless and eager to start my day. With the headlines from the Drudge Report fresh on my mind; first, a question, then another, began to consume my thoughts. I couldn’t let them go unanswered, for within them I might find a clue as to how my day would begin. Would they provide the stimulation to stay awake or leave me with a numbing effect that would entice me back to bed? “In how many ways can I be average?” I thought, “How can I ensure that my life has all the consistency of a bowl of Oatmeal; or for y’all south of the Mason Dixon line, the flavor of a plate of grits?”
Feet in the Morning
There is nothing better than starting off one’s day with such a light and fluffy question. After all, if I measure my success with a yardstick, who is to say that my yardstick has to be a full three feet? Who’s ruling is definitive, Dr. Seuss? I can just shorten it up, using the average foot size of all of the toddler’s named Joe rather than the average foot size of Joe’s in the NBA. There, my day just got easier. Following this train of thought, I should be back in bed in no time — assuming, of course, I can displace the Wonder Pup from my pillow.
Say It Ain’t So
Isn’t that how we are supposed to shape our aspirations and achieve our goals? What we cannot reach, a pinnacle that we once we were certain was within our grasp, we simply minimize; what we cannot overcome, we avoid. Something doesn’t feel right. What would your average Joe do? But who speaks for them? Are they so marginalized that they have no voice; so alienated that no one is willing to stand in their place?
Maybe I can be one of their thought leaders, but how? Where do these average Joe’s congregate? How do I reach them en mass? Do I run an add on the View or buy a mailing list from the local chapter of Bernie in 2020? Are they the over-educated, yet chronically underemployed settling for jobs as convenience store barista’s, selling average joe by the quart to average Joe’s and other weary travelers? Perhaps, these can be my people, maybe this is where I belong!
I know an average Joe, he is a friend of mine. Trust me, you are no average Joe.
Joe Knows…Average
When someone is willing to invest themselves in the lives of others because they see them differently than they see themselves, or detect a character trait or a sparkle that is absent in your average Joe, lives are changed. When they are able to convince us that average is a state of mind and not a rung on some arbitrary socioeconomic ladder, it can leave one speechless. I would like to thank all those that crashed into my world delivering a message that I need to hear that leaves me without words.
Stay tuned!
Thanks for reading, liking and sharing. Comments are nice, too.
Sure, Ivy, you can keep your job if you support Bernie in 2020.I know, he promised you a lifetime supply of free Beggin’ Strips.
Al and his faithful, but overindulgent sidekick, Ivy the Wonder Pup.
Breakfast does sound good. How far away is the nearest Waffle House?
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by Al Van Dyk | Apr 21, 2019 | Pivot Points
“No capes!”
~Edna
Edna was a shadowy figure from Bob’s past who knew his secrets. In fact, she was instrumental in his rise to fame. If she could fix a few loose seams in his favorite suit, in his persona, Bob thought he could return to the limelight and the accolades of an adoring public
Bob was all about grabbing headlines. He had an image to protect and wasn’t about to let his wardrobe get in the way. Fresh off an extreme makeover, he had taken his transformation as far as he could. He called on Edna. However, her plan was much different from Bob’s. Why settle to relive the past, no matter how illustrious, when the future offers so much more? It was she that planted the seed that it was time for a new suit.
Bob desperately wanted to return to his days of glory, to a life where he was the center of the universe, and in his orbit, everything revolved around his needs and desires. The thought of a new suit was enticing. Could he capture even more headlines than he once did? Would his adoring public return? Bob still wanted it all, the car, the lifestyle and the fame. Bob’s need to satisfy his ego, prompted him to ask for the one thing that to Edna was unthinkable, a cape.
He didn’t learn much during his hiatus and equated his time on the sidelines as one would perceive eternity in staff meetings. It was humiliating but not humbling, a punishment and not a pruning. Bob was an achiever that could only see value in his life when the achievements were to be measured using the yardstick from a time that can never or will never return. Bob’s vision for his future was tainted by his ego. Instead of looking forward to the possibilities of the unforeseen, or even the unfathomable, a world that didn’t revolve around him, he resorted to his old ways.
Edna was a realist who saw a cape for what it was, a facade and an unnecessary trapping for the shallow and weak, but knew all too well that a cape had a way to pull even a superhero in directions that he never intended. She wasn’t willing to take the risk. Edna refused to budge, giving Bob several examples of where a cape proved to be the downfall of Bob’s peers.
Bob’s attempt to rationalize his position, Trash-Talking his comrades and blaming them, their intellect and capabilities for their demise, fell on deaf ears and was fruitless. Finally, he resorted to a defense that epitomized his ego, ”What could go wrong, I’m a superhero!” Reluctantly, he concedes. There will be no cape in his future.
In the end, it is a cape that destroys Bob’s adversary, not Bob’s superpowers. Bob is merely a participant, an active bystander who happens to be at the right place at the right time and right a wrong brought about by his arrogance and detachment.
“I knew Bob, He was a friend of mine. Trust me, you are no Bob.
Is there a Bob in your life, someone suspended between conflicting realities — unsure which reality offers hope or hardship; demands dedication or allows for fleeting desire; instills a sense of purpose and passion or harbors a spirit of pessimism or pompousness?
Are you ready to let go of the past and start anew but unsure how to engage the unknown? Can you get comfortable with a storyline written in incomplete sentences and punctuated with question marks? If so, you are in for a white-knuckle ride!
What capes are hanging in your closet?
It’s good to be back.
—<<0>>—
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I wasn’t aware of that, Ivy. When did the Incredibles 2 come out?
Al and his faithful, and cinematically astute sidekick, Ivy the Wonder Pup.
Just last year? Where have I been!
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by Al Van Dyk | Apr 4, 2019 | Attitude is Everything
I like to use big words because it makes me feel like photosynthesis.
~ plagiarized from an airport gift shop in an undisclosed location
When our orderly and perfect world is anything but, our tendency is to believe the lies, those sweet little lies, that we tell our ourselves. The message is daunting and the delivery is ubiquitous — We don’t measure up. Are you ready to fight back and take the clutter of their message for what it is, nonsense; a poorly disguised attempt to shape how you see yourself and your worldview?
stuck
Meet Phil; he wants something and someone that are out of reach. The person that is the subject of his affection has no interest in him. He is stuck; he has to filter out his own nonsensical ideas that are proven to be offensive, ineffective or harmful. Through everyday interactions, he learns what it means to invest himself in the lives of those around him and accept the unfamiliar, a small sliver of the truth, or remain trapped. As the storyline progresses, Phil moves forward, one tick at a time, on a continuum that will transform him from ignorance to apathy and from ambivalence to indifference. Along the way, he learns something about himself, his motives and ultimately his character.
ignorant
We don’t know what we don’t know, and we don’t care about what we don’t know anything about. We dismiss our harsh words under the pretense that, either “We don’t understand” or “We don’t care.” On occasion, we will utter complete nonsense, and with righteous indignation criticize the temperament of those we hurt, encouraging them to toughen up.
apathetic
Then there are those times, we play the victim card, and expect that our circumstances are worse than those that others have to endure. We presume that because what others are experiencing may not be visible or palpable, theirs must be minuscule or manageable. It is our apathy that spawns brilliant statements such as “I feel your pain” or “Call me if you need me.”
tick, tick
Phil eventually learns that it is he that must change if he expects to get what he wants. His motives are no more pure or more sincere than when he started, but utilitarianism drives him to learn how to play the game. Phil still struggles, and in many respects, doesn’t get it, but sees his prize getting closer thinking she is warming to him. In reality, it is he that is changing and evolving.
ambivalent
It’s far better to question whether our actions hurt those that we care about than to be sure that they wouldn’t but be dead wrong. A few weeks ago, I posted birthday greetings to my that father that was very painful for my lovely wife to read. I wrote it thinking it was bright and witty even though, at the time, I was discouraged, and I was beginning to feel that I was losing ground. She saw through my thinly veiled sarcasm and could only see what remained; a raw nerve that was dark and bitter.
There is a difference between sympathy and compassion, between assistance and neediness. It was ego, an unhealthy pride, nurtured and matured while attending the school of hard knocks that put a swagger in my step, and an edge to my words that fostered an attitude of indifference to the needs of anyone traveling through my orbit. Now the pride that keeps me on my feet must battle a disease that wants to push me back on my knees. Strangely, my disease isn’t impressed with what I have done; it’s more interested in preparing me for what I have yet to accomplish.
a gopher’s tale
Phil’s story has a predictable ending. Yes, he gets the girl. Guess what Phil, I got the girl too. But my story, our story, is much more complicated than chasing a rodent through podunk Pennsylvania and it has more twists and turns than the back roads of Punxsutawney. Our story will make some laugh, it may make some cry, but best of all, the ending is yet to be written — and you can be a part of it.
Thanks for reading and liking, share it if you must,
Groundhogs are rodents Ivy; basically giant ground squirrels. Yes, they are like wolverines, only groundhogs are a lot tougher.
Al and his faithful, but zoologically ignorant sidekick, Ivy the wonder pup.
What makes them tougher? Even the smallest squirrel knows how to handle a Buckeye.
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by Al Van Dyk | Mar 11, 2019 | Vault
Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
The Beatles, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
Can you still imagine that you will experience a time, or a season, that would make Willie Wonka jealous? A place where Johnny Walker is cheap and ice cream is free; a place where indulgence is rewarded, and calories are like points on “Whose Line is It, Anyway?” Do you still dare to ponder, dare to wonder, or dare to dream!
a time to ponder
All I really wanted was a hot-dog, but nothing is that easy anymore. I fear that the days of thoughtlessly dropping $1.59 on the counter of Costco and walking away with nutrition for the body and food for the soul are nearing the end. It’s too easy to overthink almost everything. Insignificant decisions, such as where to grab our next meal, are now cluttered with an assessment of the number of likes, stars, and reviews that an overgrown hot dog cart received. Somethings merit thoughtful consideration and carefully researched outcomes, but not every decision is on par with buying a new firearm or a second pair of dress socks. No need to ponder how to perform an everyday activity, such as walking to the refrigerator; it should be as effortless as putting one foot in front of the other.
a time to wonder
I wonder whatever happened to the *Thoughtless Bucket*, our illusionary Tupperware where instructions to auto-pilot actions are stored. I don’t recall a time that I had to revisit the instructions that taught me how to step over a neglected chew toy or re-couple one of my son’s shoes with its partner, a shoe now hidden in the treasure trove of the mischievous Wonder Pup. I wonder how what was once common-place became a challenge? Would I still take for granted the common and the ordinary if it was suddenly easy; the routine and the mundane if it was effortless? Would I consider it
pure joy to mow the lawn or to clear the ice from our front porch if..?I wonder if I would still be willing to take the
leap of faith for which I advocated, now that I know what was ahead? Would I
carpe diem or just seize the newest Lazy-boy — one with a cooler built into the armrest?
a time to dream
We can still dream of realities free from discomfort, distortion, and decay. We can long for hallways free from *forgotten chew-toys* that cause us to stumble. We can pray for discernment as we encounter fads, and other misguided attempts in social engineering, that promise relief as opposed to something that offers true wisdom and wellness, healing and happiness. We can dream our life still matters because it does; our hope is eternal because it can be.
—<<O>>—
Thanks for reading and liking, share it if you must.
You will have to forgive Ivy, she is still pouting.
Al and his faithful, but an unapologetic sidekick, Ivy the Wonder Pup.”It’s a crate, not a cell.”
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by Al Van Dyk | Feb 17, 2019 | Attitude is Everything
There is freedom when you come to the place when you can accept that your life is totally screwed.
The Sharpshooter
One Message
Is there a different message you long to hear? One that instills hope and inspires charity; one that ignites passion and invites compassion. Is there a message that grants peace in the midst of our pain. It depends on who you ask.
One Life
Edgar was not known for his light and fluffy side. By most accounts, in his life, he had more than his share of hardships. His father abandoned him shortly after his birth and his mother died a year later. Gifted and socially connected, his gambling debts railroaded his education and was forced to drop out. His aspiration to attend West Point lasted less than a year before he was told to leave.
After the passing of his love interest, rumored to be married to someone else, he was overcome with grief and withdrew into his work. Late one evening while in is study, he had a visitor. Searching for answers, He began a conversation with his visitor, pressing him to answer questions that most would consider unanswerable; questions that would cause him the most pain.
Revlon Anyone?
Occasionally, only a coarse word can convey an ugly truth. I apologize in advance for exploiting my friend’s candor for my selfish interests.
It has been almost two months since we last spoke, his words still haunt me. At the time, I thought it was some cryptic message or was he pointing me to a reality that I have yet to experience?
I will be the first to admit that I have a tendency to withdraw from those with whom I am close when a good day isn’t all that good. I could put on my happy face but there is nothing more superficial than putting “lipstick on a pig.” Of course, it wouldn’t hurt me to spend less time at the make-up counter looking for just the right shade to compliment my sour grapes.
But those who care for us and about us, will prompt us to put our self-pity on a shelf, to look beyond the bad days and find reasons to live in the moment. Today, we can endure the challenges we will encounter today; tomorrow can wait.
One Message
The visitor didn’t offer any insight that night, he simply answered Edgar”s questions in the only way the visitor could.
- Are you here to bring comfort?
- Is there a balm…a medical treatment…that would heal my pain?
- Will I see her again?
To each question, the answer he received from his visitor The Raven came in the form of a single word:
Nevermore
One Hope
That message is this. Don’t ask advice from those who feed off of the misery of others, who don’t have your best interests at heart, and have no interest in helping you carry your burdens.
To my friend, I would like to leave you with this, “Your life matters. Your generous spirit has touched many, including mine. Those whose lives you touched carry your burden as if they are their own.”
May you find peace, an everlasting peace, in the One who gives freely, and in his presence, rest for the tired and the weary.
And about the bird, don’t let him get to you. Surely you know someone who knows someone who can take care of an annoying bird perched on top of your door. It will never know what hit him
——<<O>>——
Thanks for reading, liking, and sharing,
Al and his faithful, but culturally isolated sidekick, Ivy the wonder pup.
The kid with the yellow hair? His name is Bart. It wouldn’t hurt you to put down your books and watch TV once in a while.
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