In an episode of Shark Tank, one of my favorite shows, the entrepreneurs were seeking funding to bring to market a stuffed elephant in a glass box that could offer a lead in for people who wanted to discuss awkward or uncomfortable subjects but were unsure how to begin. If someone wanted to start a conversation, they could remove the elephant from the box to signify that there was an elephant in the room. Fortunately, the investors are called Sharks for a reason. At the risk of spoiling the ending for you if you haven’t seen this episode, it’s safe to say the entrepreneurs will have to go it alone if they want to see wandering elephants in living rooms across America.
He looks different? Do you think he came down with something?
Do We Go?
Invitations to social functions from old acquaintances are still a little uncomfortable for me, but are welcome nonetheless. Several weeks ago, Lisa and I were invited to a party in our neighborhood that was held at my former class-mate’s house. I have known the host and hostess since we were in middle school, according to Ivy, that would be about 294 dog years. We cross paths occasionally, but this was different.
This couple lives on a lake, they brought in a band and welcomed all of their neighbors to watch and enjoy from their boats. We were invited to enjoy an evening with them and their friends. Lisa, the social butterfly, lives for things like this. We had the invitation hanging on the message board in our kitchen for some time; I thought we were planning on going, Lisa thought I wasn’t interested. The event was this past Friday night and we almost missed out on a very nice evening because of a lack of communication.
The Problem With An Inner Circle
Most all of our friends are our age, mid 40’s to mid 50’s, give or take a few. Those that we see and interact with somewhat regularly know that I have Parkinson’s; that bridge has been crossed, it can be discussed candidly, humorously and then we move on to more relevant and interesting topics. No wandering elephants! Still, I only bring up the subject if asked. It took very little time for our friends to get comfortable with the subject, most of them came around when they saw how well I was doing physically and that I was open to the conversation. Unfortunately, a few never have but I’m fine with that too.
I still don’t know who knows, especially outside of my circle of friends. As a result, I don’t know how others will interact with me. I never know what to expect, or the reason others are uncomfortable. Friday night was different, the host and hostess simply asked the question, “how is your health?” and a heart-felt follow-up question, “what does that mean?” They knew I had PD and were willing to ask a few simple questions, in doing so they put me at ease. We quickly and effortlessly moved past the subject, not out of discomfort, we had other things of interest to catch up on.
Blips and Annoyances
I have come to prefer the direct approach; candor with a hint of brevity. I did not need, or want it to be anything more than a footnote in our conversation. After all, that’s how I have chosen to integrate PD into my activities of daily living. It’s just a blip, an annoyance for now, something I have to work around or through, to do what I wish to do; nothing more.
I don’t pretend to know the details of the science and biology around PD, all I do know is that the medical community doesn’t know how one gets Parkinson’s and it doesn’t have a cure. I will leave the filler between these two end points to the professionals. My goal is to simply manage my symptoms with the help of my Circle of Care so that I can attaint a “near normal” condition. To those people and institutions that have been instrumental in my care, I am eternally grateful, for I have accheived the goal.
Where Elephants Belong
I prefer my elephants either in a zoo, in the circus or in their natural habitat. No need to drag them inside. If a 16-week old Golden Retriever is any reference, I suspect they leave a mess.
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Al and his faithful, but disproportionately sized, sidekick Ivy the wonder pup.
You’re right, Ivy, the boy’s allowance would have to double if he had to clean up after one of those things.