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Let’s get Vertical, Vertical…

~O. Newton-John (paraphrased)

In our quasi-civilized sociality, it is still considered a social faux pa when people tip over as spontaneously as the cows in a field in East Lansing. With few exceptions, getting and staying vertical during an MSU football game, playing a game of dodge ball, or the playing of our national anthem, the expectation of verticality still holds.

Props to You

I find myself using more props than I used to. I may lean against a wall or a piece of furniture to steady myself in a pose that looks natural, and projects an image that it is I that is keeping the wall from falling or stopping the furniture from going rogue. But it’s not only for selfish reasons that like to stay vertical. Occasionally, I think about how my disease will impact others, how it makes them feel. How my elephant and I can make others feel uneasy.

I doubt that I am alone. There must be more of us that need a prop to look natural while performing routine tasks. For those of us that struggle with equilibrium, a kneeling bench at the gas pump just may be the perfect solution that allows me to blend in with the penitent few, those that feel the need to call attention to their angst over climate change.

Go, Team!

Sure, image is essential, but equally important is one’s desire and ability to remain socially active and accessible. That is where props are useful and necessary. Whether you and your squad need your fix COVID 19 stats or college football but now your options on the big screens at BW3 are limited to watching reruns of the Not-So-Big–10 Network, a prop will keep you in the center of the action. Strategically placed leather recliners and overstuffed bean bag chairs, meticulously sanitized and painstakingly repositioned to maintain the social distancing protocols after each guest’s binge-a-thon, are a sure way to keep the enabled and disabled, engaged yet divided.

We are no different — those of us that have mobility issues still need a sense of community, a place where we can test the boundaries of mischief and mayhem, and dare to insinuate, to plan our next pillage and plunder. There is must be more than we can do than sitting idly by, indulging in yet another bottomless bowl of chips and dip, while providing much-needed commentary and rational thought concerning the latest public policy quagmire,

Props need not be divisive or partisan, appealing to a particular constituency. If social norms dictate that people are vertical, then those expectations must be met. A Life Alert button that plays the national anthem and simultaneously delivers a zap on par with licking the posts of a car battery is a sure hit among many demographics appealing to both the activist and the chronically sedentary.

Sharks Welcome

Where there is an unmet need, there will soon be demand, and demand breeds opportunity. Herein lies the tension between my inner-capitalist and my budding humanitarian leanings. The capitalist sees it as an opportunity to exploit, while the advocate within thinks props belong in the public domain.

I certainly wouldn’t begrudge a visionary capitalist who saw an unmet need, invested his toil and treasure into addressing that need, partnered with a Shark who later sold their interests for a hefty profit. Who knows; maybe the loss of college football has a silver lining.

We have a prop for that! maybe the catchphrase of the big thing.

Thanks for reading, liking, and sharing.


Ivy is lamenting the loss of college football. She just threw a yellow flag. Got it, I was just given this editorial clarification. MSU refers to Michigan State University, not Mississippi State University. Sorry, Sparty!

Al and his faithful, but grieving sidekick, Ivy the Wonder Pup.

That’s a pretty deep question, Ivy. Are you asking, “If a cow tips over in a field in East Lansing and there is no football season, is it still recorded as spontaneous?”

You got me on that one, pup.

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